


Falling in Again - 2Doc

by Kapdixo



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst, Forgiveness, M/M, Murdoc Niccals-centric, Mutual Pining, Phase Six (Gorillaz), Post-The Lost Chord, Redemption, Sad Murdoc Niccals, Second Chances, Self-Esteem Issues, Stuart "2D" Pot is a Mess, Stuart "2D" Pot-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29773194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapdixo/pseuds/Kapdixo
Summary: Murdoc doesn’t really know what love is, but 2D seems to elicit the closest emotion to it he can figure out.
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Falling in Again - 2Doc

“Ya wanna go for another ride, Murdoc?”

2D asked the question so innocently, smiling at him. He actually wanted to ride with him? Spend time with him?

Murdoc swallowed, knowing this would obviously be very different from when they did something similar. “What do you mean by ‘another’? I wouldn’t call what we did much of a ride when it was just a fan and a green screen, 2D. And it’s not like you can see well enough to drive a bloody bike in real life!”

Okay, that was mean. He kicked himself for that little outburst almost immediately. Come on, he was better than that. He was working so hard to be better than that. 

2D didn’t seem to notice his inner struggle or be offended. “Can’t you help look out for me?” He poked his tongue out between the gap in his teeth cutely. “I trust you, Muds!”

“A horrible decision, really.” Considering what happened with the truth serum...yeah. Murdoc luckily masked his shock well at hearing that. “Fine! Twist my arm, why don’t you? Let me just get me helmet and jacket first, it’s fuckin’ freezing out! You should wear something other than a hat on your head, too!”

He laughed, reaching for his own jacket. “What for? I can’t do me head in any worse at this point!” He tapped his forehead for emphasis, then winced in pain as instant regret set in. “Ow.”

He chuckled. He had to, okay? The singer was just too adorable for his own good and nobody could blame him. “Fair point. Shall we set off on our little adventure?”

“Yes! Oh, wait a moment.” 2D fished out his phone. “Noodle was concerned when I didn’t tell her last time, so I should give her and Russel a head’s-up first!”

Wait, no. “They’ll stop us!” Murdoc shouted. “I’m not in the mood to get my arse kicked today by either of ‘em!” Or his nose broken. A man can only handle that a few times before it starts getting tedious. 

He lowered his hand and nodded solemnly to show he understood. “They’re not in anyways, so maybe we can just get back here before they do! They’ll never know it happened!”

Oh, his deviousness had rubbed off on him quite nicely. Never mind, that sounded wrong. “Fantastic idea.” He held the door open and let the taller of the two go outside first before stepping out behind him. “Sweet Satan, I’m glad I put on the jacket! Me skin is going to go from green to red like a traffic light!”

“That’s a good one!” 2D pulled the bike over to the driveway and threw his leg over it, the vehicle wobbling dangerously as he tried to mount it.

“Shit.” Murdoc grabbed the side to hold it still. “Be more careful, you idiot! You’ll break your face on the ground if you fall!”

He didn’t respond to that or even show that he was listening as he inserted the key into the ignition and turned, causing the engine to roar to life. “Hold on tight, now!”

“Moron.” He reached for the handles on the sides, then stopped. He had an awful idea that could turn out to be not-so-awful depending on how he executed it. Maybe he shouldn’t bother in the first place and just do what he originally planned to do, but what was the fun in that? Bringing his arms up again, he leaned forward a bit and wrapped them around the singer’s waist.

The noise that left 2D’s mouth could only be described as a squeak. Cute. “M-Murdoc? What are you doing?”

“Holding on,” Murdoc replied, “like you said. And, uh...” Think, think. “And now I don’t have any hands free, so you know for a fact I won’t inject you with anything again!”

“Oh! That’s actually really smart of you to do! Thank you!” His body somehow relaxed even further as they were off, another smile on his face because he trusted him. 

Possible crisis averted. Not that he cared about crises with 2D or anything. However, he forgot that he’d never not held on to some type of handle before and felt nervous his grip wasn’t right. You didn’t need to hold as hard as you expected to the handles, but what was the criteria for another person? His waist was tiny, so first he tried resting his hands on his narrow hips and cupping the sides of his jacket. 

“Muds, that tickles!” 2D giggled.

“Sorry.” Murdoc ‘accidentally’ squeezed one more time before going back to winding his arms around his torso. He could almost fully do it twice! God, was the kid eating enough?

Kid.

Was it right of him to still think of him as a kid?  
2D was in his forties now, so not really a kid at all anymore. He hadn’t been a kid for a long time. Sure, he was a kid when he ran a car into his face all those years ago, but that was then. This was now.

Murdoc wasn’t much better, since he was in his fifties himself. It was depressing to think about. He wasn’t sure if he’d say he felt he wasted his life, but...he wouldn’t not say that, either. Most people his age would have a family by now or something, even if they were in a taxing job such as a musician. That ship had sailed long ago and was never coming back. He missed his chance. 

Thinking was depressing. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of outdoors as the wind whipped around him. 

\---

“That was so much fun, Murdoc! I’m glad you came with me!” 

“Sure.”

2D was still riding his high from the trip and didn’t notice anything off about the bassist, of course. “You know, I love how nice you’ve been to me! It’s like we’re actually really good fri-“

“Sod off.” Murdoc pushed him aside roughly, causing him to gasp. “I’m going to bed. Don’t bother me unless the place burns down or something. On second thought, don’t bother me ever.” He didn’t wait around to see his reaction or hear a reply. _Coward._ He closed his door with a little more force than necessary and locked it behind him in one fluid motion. Being nice was exhausting.

Flopping onto his bed, he stared up at the blank ceiling with a sigh. Forgiven. Trusted. Those two words just didn’t fit someone like him and felt like a poison slowly shutting down his body from their foreignness. Rejecting the poison wasn’t working, as he actually welcomed it deep down. A change of pace, good or bad, was sometimes better than nothing at all.

Turning onto his side, Murdoc thought more about everything that had happened today. He was in love with 2D. Maybe. He didn’t even know what love was or what it felt like (Noodle was an exception, but she was more his daughter), having never experienced it before. He didn’t even love himself like people claimed. Either way, he didn’t deserve the goodness that was 2D. He was still sort of young and could find someone much better.

“You don’t actually forgive me,” he spoke to the darkness. “You just think you do, or lie to make me feel better since you’re too nice to tell the truth. I ruined your life.”

_He still worships you._

“HE DOESN’T KNOW ANY BETTER!” Murdoc grabbed the closest item to him and threw it at the wall violently. The bottle exploded in a shower of glass and alcohol, pooling on the floor wastefully. Just like his life. At least the action made him feel the slightest bit better in the long run.

Burying his face in his pillow, the Satanist resigned to the fact that this was all he was and all he ever would be. A sad, pathetic drunk, hold the feelings.

_I’ll wait to be forgiven, maybe I never will_  
_My star has left me to take the bitter pill_  
_That shattered feeling_


End file.
